Painful Shopping at the Apple Store

Off-topic for the iPad, but on-target for commentary about today’s abysmal Apple Store experience, painful in more ways than one.

Okay, I admit that for a long time I’ve said that the Geniuses aren’t usually all that smart – but when you christen something “genius,” you’re only asking for trouble and snarky remarks. And I know that I’ve been using Macs since before some of the Genius Bar dudes were born (seriously!), so it’s not a fair match if I stop by the Bar to toy with them.

But I expect sales people and geniuses to know the basics, and to be able to answer reasonable questions, about Apple products. Especially when the product is a new one, on display (more or less). I went to the Apple store this morning, where I wanted to do a quick look-see, hands-on, test drive of certain a new MacBook Pro. But, nooo…. And if this is the way shoppers are treated – by totally uninformed personnel – I’m shocked that any but current Mac users would bother buying a Mac from a place like this.

I’ve been waiting for the new MacBook Pros to come out because it’s time for a new one. I wanted to get one a couple of months ago, selling my 2.5-year-old MBP while there was still 6 months of AppleCare on it (a good resale point). Generally, however, new laptop models come out at about the same price as the just-previous generation, and I was talked out of buying one and into waiting for the new ones (I’m not mentioning any names). But, not only did the new models come out at a higher starting price, the extra feature I need has an extra, extra cost: I need an anti-glare screen. And, although that was already an additional charge, now there’s a catch: you have to get a model with the higher-res screen, paying a premium for that, in order to get anti-glare. Now, I might be able to rationalize the extra cost, but I don’t think I can deal with the tinier pixels; Adobe palettes are already driving me squint-crazy. But how would I know for sure without looking at one? (Because it would drive me even crazier to have to set it to a lower resolution after paying for the higher one!)

So, off to the Apple Store in Willowbrook, in Wayne, NJ, only minutes from my house. Past the up-front iPad displays (already have one, thanks), to the MacBook Pro table: a line of 13-inchers along one side, 15-inch on the other. A glance at the 15’s tell me they’re at the familiar, standard resolution. Can they be adjusted? I’d have to get to System Preferences on 4 machines, so I’ll just ask a salesperson. I had to go snag someone; the store was just about empty but only the security guard had bothered to acknowledge my existence.

Here’s how the conversation proceeded with the guy I grabbed:

“I’d like to see the Mac Book Pro with the higher-resolution screen so I can decide if that’s the one I want. Are any of these a high-res model?”

“Umm…they all have the same size screens.”

“Yes, the size is the same, but I want to know if one of these can be set to the higher resolution.”

“Umm… higher resolution? Oh!” [The light dawns… he thinks] “You want to look at the 15-inch screens on the other side of the table.” [We were on the 13-inch side of the table.]

“Yes, I want a 15-inch model, but you’re aware that some of the new models come with high-res screens? And that I can’t get an anti-glare model unless I also get the hi-res?”

“We don’t have any anti-glare models on display.”

“Yes, but that doesn’t mean you don’t have a hi-res model here. I thought you could save me some time instead of my looking through settings for each one.” [He watches as I pull out System Prefs on the first machine, then move to the next and do the same.]

“But these screens are all the same the size.”

[Less patient, and a less let’s-not-make-him-feel-dumb voice] “You do know there’s a difference between the screen size and resolution, right?”

He looks at me semi-blankly, not sure how to fake it at this point, and without the grace to admit he doesn’t know; he doesn’t seem to know what he doesn’t know. I look at my husband, who’s been checking the other displayed machines.

“You know, I could just take a look at some regular screens and see if I can figure out what the analogous resolution would be.” [Should I explain to this guy – the salesman, that is, not my husband - the difference between pixel-per-inch resolution and “resolution” as a measure of horizontal by vertical measurement?? Nah, too busy trying to think, through pain-medication haze, what that analogous resolution would be.]

The salesman (salesboy?) follows me to the table of iMacs, as I continue talking to my husband “Do you remember the hi-res? 1600-something by 1000-something? Can you check the Apple site?” [I wave a hand toward the iMac next to the one where I’m pulling out System Preferences for the Display prefs. The salesman shakes his head.]

“Oh, these screens don’t go up that high,” he says helpfully.

And he’s shocked, shocked, when he sees that the current resolution is set to 2760 by 1440. He apparently realizes his limitations and says he’ll be right back. He comes back with information:

“We don’t have any of the hi-res MacBooks on display” [duh]. “We don’t even have any in stock, but you can order one.”

“I can order one online. I want to see it. Do you really expect people to order a machine with features they haven’t seen?”

He shrugs politely.

[To my husband] “Maybe we can check the Short Hills store tonight or tomorrow?”

[Salesman] “Oh, they’ll have exactly the same thing, all the stores have to put out only the things we’re told to put out.”

He says he’ll be right back. He comes back with reinforcements.

[New guy] “We do have one of the hi-res machines in the back, but we can’t open it for you.”

I look at my husband – and, okay, I probably rolled my eyes. Didn’t I just pretty much say I wasn’t going to buy a machine when I hadn’t yet checked out the screen at the higher resolution?? But not so the salesmen can see; I’m not that rude.

[Husband, to salespeople] “Is the manager here? Can we speak with him?”

They nod and walk away agreeably. I am now at my limit, not of patience, but of pain tolerance: with recent spinal surgery, even with drugs I can’t walk or stand comfortably more than 5 minutes; 15 minutes is approaching agony. They come back:

“The manager is here but he’s busy, he’ll be awhile”

My husband looks at me waiting for a decision: he knows I’m about to wimp out, give up, and get home as quickly as possible to my pain-reducing horizontal approach to life. He knows my little nod means “Okay, try again, I can last a little longer.” He asks the salesman how long “awhile” is, and if there’s someone else who can help. The guy again disappears, and reappears with what he thinks is happy news:

“Actually, the manager says they’ll be opening a box and putting a hi-res machine on display later today.”

Inside, I’m exploding… Later today? I’m on my way to the oncologist and might not be in the mood for returning later today. Even with good news [which it was], it’s physically too difficult for me to be up and out in the morning and again in the afternoon. And what do you think – that normal people have time to come to the mall on a Thursday morning and come back again in the afternoon?. But I just look at my husband and roll my eyes again, eloquently. (Hey, really, the salesmen couldn’t see that, I turned away from them.)

[Husband, calmly] “Well, if you’re going to open the box today, can’t you just open it now?”

“Oh, no, it’s not that simple. We have to image it, and set it up right, and…”

Of course. Not unreasonable – and lord knows, Rich and I set up new machines for people all the time, and it really does take a surprising amount of time to get a new Mac up and running, even if you’re not imaging it.

But it sounded unreasonable after dealing with a salesperson who didn’t know the basics about computer displays in general, about the new MacBook lineup in particular (couldn’t they give these guys a cheat sheet at the very least?), about what was actually in stock….

We thanked them and left. (And I’m afraid I’ll just have to go back tomorrow, though I’ll sure as hell call first to see if that machine’s set up, and hope that I get a knowledgeable answer. I can just hear it now, when/if I get there: “Are you the person who called about the hi-res MacBook Pro? So, you want to see the 17-inch models then, right?”

Is this any way to run an Apple store?

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